Ton-Community

239. Elena - November 15, 2009 [Edit]

Thank you Ton. Now you’re voicing the things that matter. I would revise your last paragraph on esoteric things

“and i’m not talking about the learning of ‘esoteric doctrines’ — that’s a lot of hogwash and window-dressing designed to obfuscate and occlude what’s really going on…. true insight doesn’t come from all the surface nonsense and obfuscation that’s trotted out in the form of fof doctrine… what’s beneath the appearances and between the lines?”

I think we can now acknowledge how esoteric ideas and practices were used against us. They are actually being practiced in the Fellowship and they are very efficient but only to turn against the members practicing them. This is what we hadn’t understood. What we hadn’t incorporated yet. We’ve been denying that there is work going on or that the work is not work but that’s not true. We did work both externally and internally. Whenever I didn’t feel good about what was going on and felt like exploding I would tell myself:

I’m here to change my self first
This is a negative emotion
This is judgment
This is identification
This is inner considering
Separate from the “I”s
Don’t believe the “I”s
They are just “I”s
Continue doing your work
Remember yourself always and everywhere

On and on, all the workbooks and each tool was used to try to ignore what was actually happening and succeeded for seventeen years. This is very important because WE WERE WORKING and members inside know they have been working esoterically: that is, they have been making real efforts and have separated from themselves. The problem is that instead of transforming themselves or the lives they were given, they have been simply negating them selves to adapt to the life they are being given: work, work, work to make money for the second only to Christ.

This is another piece of the puzzle that needed to be understood and one of the main reasons members remain inside: because they are having to work hard and are convinced that that is taking them somewhere. Because they’ve already put so much energy in it they can’t believe it’s not working. Wasn’t that so for many of us? Only that their work bears no fruit and they are led to believe that they have no will, that they are not making enough efforts, that they are not good enough until Robert says so. Here I’m talking about members in Oregon House who really dug roots in the cult. Members in far away centres have a different story because they tried to use the System oblivious of the cult and Robert’s life, which simply places them in ignorance about what they are supporting. Voluntary ignorance that has nothing to do with consciousness or integrity or responsibility with one’s life.

251. ton – November 15, 2009 Page 85
25o someone,
thanks for making it a short visit… you write:

“If one can make a decent living, one can find Apollo as a great place to live, surrounded by wonderful people.”

i don’t now about ‘wonderful’ people… everyone has their idea about what constitutes a ‘wonderful’ person… probably in most cases that has to do with commonalities, you tend to be more sympathetic toward people who share your beliefs and opinions… you tend to be more antipathetic and oppositional toward those who you view as ‘different.’ it might be said that almost all people have their ‘good’ AND their ‘bad’ qualities; i think many people join the fof with some ‘good’ intentions… many are looking for community and a place where they feel they ‘belong.’ but some of the so-called ‘wonderful’ people there are entrenched in the darker machinations and actually constitute a large part of the problem… there are problems. it seems obvious from this post that you are or were looking for community, it’s a very human need and i think many people who are drawn into the fof web are/were also looking for community, i know i was. in this respect imo your statement:

“I still think the FoF has a lot to offer esoterically…”

is beside the point. with hindsight i realize that the sense of community was the most important part of the fof experience for me and that sense of belonging was the thing that kept me in the fold long beyond the time when i initially realized what the scam was all about. so don’t fool yourself about what is offered ‘esoterically’ — unless of course you are not aware of the basic human need for community, in which case an aspect of the truth remains ‘occluded’ for you…

you mention ‘pathetic’ posts, imo one thing that’s ‘pathetic’ is your attitude as it’s reflected here…. as far as the fof goes, members and ex-members alike are all in a minor way ‘little eichmanns’ and maybe your conscience allows you to ignore what you supported and contributed to as a member of the fof… or maybe you remain blissfully unaware… it sounds like for you the fof was nothing more than a country club with ‘esoteric’ window-dressing. differing perspectives on what supporting the fof implies are expected but from my point of view you seem to be in denial and ignoring somethings that need a deeper personal reflection and reckoning. speaking of pathetic, you write:

“Eventually one person (DC) has subdued almost everyone else here. 75% of the posts are dialogs with DC.”

maybe english is not your native language but in any case you seem to misunderstand and misuse the word ’subdue’ — posts by dc tend to incite other posters (granted others who are too revolted or dumbfounded by this dumbfuck dc might be subdued and remain lurking on the sidelines). there is something to be said FOR fof apologists in that they reflect the psychology of the cult while at the same time stimulating others to reflect, formulate and debate based on their own experience. from it’s inception one aspect of this blog has been about the repartee between apologists/defenders and those who view the matter differently… it seems that you would fall into the former category.

you write: “I left the FoF real broke with almost nothing in my wallet. Now after I have recovered, I still think the FoF has a lot to offer esoterically.”

let’s look at the term ‘esoteric’ — 1. understood by or meant for only the select few who have special knowledge or interest; recondite: poetry full of esoteric allusions. 2. belonging to the select few. 3. private; secret; confidential. 4. (of a philosophical doctrine or the like) intended to be revealed only to the initiates of a group: etc.

the notion that you as a member of the fof were privy to ’secret knowledge’ made you feel (and maybe still makes you feel) as if you were ’special’ and one of the ‘chosen few’ selected out of the billions of people on the planet as an ‘initiate’ to (potentially) ‘awaken.’ this erroneous notion is promoted and fostered by the fof as an integral part of it’s lure and allure, this notion appeals to a person’s vanity and false-pride, it’s one of the primary tools of the subtle and not so subtle mechanisms of psychological control over the ‘flock.’ your affiliation with the fof sets you apart alright, but not in the way you are lead to believe… this idea is intentionally misleading and serves no other purpose than to keep the followers in thrall… as a member you are lead to believe that by studying and following ‘the system’ (read:burtonism), an arcane, insane ‘doctrine’ consisting of a set of bizarre beliefs, that your adherence will lead to a ‘promised land’ an imaginary far away place which may yet be ‘lifetimes’ away… through abiding belief the ‘good student’ is kept in the fold, all the while busy building their own personal mental prison through endless and ceaseless repetitions of ’sequences’ and other ‘exercises.’ the real hidden agenda in the fof, the truly ‘esoteric’ aspects have to do with the scam that’s being perpetrated and the purpose behind it… that being in large part, feeding of the insatiable appetites and extravagant lifestyle of the cankerous queen around which the whole thing revolves. as for the ‘esoteric’ doctrine of the fof, you can glean more true wisdom and insight into human nature by cracking open almost any ‘mainstream’ psychology text book.

’someone’ — you write:

“I left the FoF real broke with almost nothing in my wallet…”

in spite of the fact that you were admittedly ‘fleeced’ by burton , you choose to look at the experience as positive…. good for you. but i think you are still under the influence… you write:

“no one has ever abused me or instructed me to do things against my own will.”

this implies that you don’t realize or care to see what exactly you were supporting through your membership and payments… you don’t realize that your very trust was abused through your affiliation, that by conforming to suggestions, and mindlessly paying up your hard earned dollars, you were as it turns out, on a subtle level doing things against your will… i’m surprised you can’t see that with hindsight… i guess it’s not always 20/20. you still want to see your association with the fof as something of value and maybe as a life experience it is valuable, but that must imply you have learned something of value…. and i’m not talking about the learning of ‘esoteric doctrines’ — that’s a lot of hogwash and window-dressing designed to obfuscate and occlude what’s really going on…. true insight doesn’t come from all the surface nonsense and obfuscation that’s trotted out in the form of fof doctrine… what’s beneath the appearances and between the lines? you don’t seem to get it yet… how long have you been out anyway