237. No Kid – March 22, 2010
@veramente: Respectfully, I *don’t* want it to fall down. At least not yet. I was pretty badly abused – physically, emotionally, spiritually and sexually – by these people (you people?) as a child. Not a “child” in his mid-20s…a prepubescent *actual* bald-pubed child. If the FoF falls, I may well become responsible for the elderly parent who cheerfully turned me over to the care of some serious nut-jobs, and does not to this day acknowledge any culpability. That is completely unacceptable to me. Would it be acceptable to you? If this happens, I have no idea what I will do, or what I can do. Will you – will any of you – step up to the plate on this? I don’t expect you to. Frankly, I expect nothing from anyone ever associated with this organization. That is not “attitude” – it is experience. I’m no fan of the FoF. I am also…No Kid.
238. Bares Reposting – March 22, 2010
238. Bares Reposting – March 22, 2010
No Kid’s position on this issues is apparently justified but not for a second. Yes, if the Fellowship closes you might have to become responsible for your elderly parent who cheerfully turned you over to the care of some serious nut-jobs and does not acknowledge culpability but as long as the Fellowship remains open for your convenience so that your father dies without your having to be responsible, other people continue to get hurt.
It is not easy to respond with compassion towards those who turn their backs on us but as long as we don’t, the plays continue to repeat themselves over and over again in their eternal recurrence. You ask, “will any of you step up to the plate on this?” Yes, I would to the extent of my possibilities. You expect nothing from anyone but are also unwilling to give anything.
It would be easier to take care of someone else’s sick parents probably than my own who did very much what yours did in different circumstances. I tried that too and failed to allow for further abuse. If ever I’ve understood anything it is that there are causes behind effects and the apparent responsible only has a third of the responsibility. We tend to look directly at the person performing the behavior without looking at the surrounding that prompted it. Then we act against the individual and leave the surrounding untouched or touched by the same violence. Wasn’t that what happened between us on the blog? What is important in our societies is not the children or the old people, like in the Fellowship. What was important for our parents was not raising us but “making it” themselves in a society in which you were supposed to have “opportunities” even if making it themselves was like us, following illusions that rendered more suffering than solid solutions. The ego was never as individualistic in any other period of history when the family succumbed to productivity in society. Now we are all orphans even if pieces of our family are lying around in the human desert of cities. But not only our parents abandon us. Friends too, if you don’t agree with them. People you’ve loved. And when one’s been abandoned so miserably it’s so easy to abandon anyone, anywhere, anytime. So easy that abandoning and being abandoned becomes an addiction that one has to repeat over and over again to get a glimpse of what it was that hurt one so badly when one was too young to digest it. Each time one hurts a little more until one finally abandons one’s self too or each time one takes a wider look at the problems involved and moves an inch to the side in the soul of one’s losses.
It does not matter how much we beg for people not to abandon us. People feed on the power begging them gives them, the emotional dependence feeds their ego like honey feeds the bee and they will continue to hold us only for as long as we obey them and agree with them. We label each other crazy if we’re unwilling to submit to the status quo, ours or others, we all do it, the rest are crazy and are abandoned by us or we by them depending on who’s got the power. They then build nut houses to justify their deeds and treat the lunatics! Love today is not love but submission and one is forced to be abandoned again and again no matter how desperate, until one ends up living in indefinite aloneness but without submitting, if one survives the pain.
Some find their own self to embrace them and the love that doesn’t flow from others comes from within. Love then is life. Playing a guitar becomes an act of love, washing the dishes, walking, looking at the sunset, at the children and people on the streets. Caring for what goes on in the world, what happens to the people one doesn’t know but never the less, loves, becomes a necessity and the struggles others are willing to take on and win give one as much joy as if they’d been one’s own victory, for they are, in our oneness. Then it doesn’t matter if one wins, we all win with no matter what human victory.
In the health care bill that was just passed there is such victory. Perhaps that bill could make No kid’s job of looking after his elderly parent easier if the Fellowship were closed.
It is such a great success for the human being that this law has passed. To have the government of the most capitalist nation understand that that which capitalism destroyed, the possibility families had to take care of each other directly, needs to be replaced by government responsibility and in that government by everyone in the nation paying for it, particularly those in better conditions, is a paramount step towards a more human society. “No Kid’s” job is a lot easier today than it was yesterday, and justifying his own unwillingness to take responsibility for his father allowing for the continued existence of the Fellowship cult where his father was dehumanized together with thousands others, simply shows that after all he is still just a kid, equally dehumanized, who doesn’t understand or can hold the problem. He is as dehumanized, when he prefers to allow for the violence within the Fellowship cult to continue as long as he doesn’t have to take care of his parents who are when one really understands, just victims. Who is responsible for our unconsciousness but our selves?
Perhaps that is what we’ll eventually understand about cults: that they were the cults our parents went to when they needed to be loved and gave themselves up for the love of a guru who they disguised as an eternal one who would redeem them. That they were the holes they hid in when they couldn’t bear the lovelessness and disconnectedness of our societies. That those men and women playing idolatry simply succumbed to submission and sacrificed their lives as long as somebody loved them and in allowing him to rape them over and over again, they simply affirm and reaffirm the act of submission that every person who is not owner of his self, demands from those who ask for his love. Cult followers are the most pathetically abandoned people on earth: their numbness, their cruelty, their idolatry is the social expression of what masses of people have been suffering for decades: abandonment; lack of connectedness with their family, society and humanity. The sanity of the parental structure, the archetype, is too powerful to allow for the destruction of the family’s integrity.
I’ve learnt that the tyrant is in the emotional center of every human being who is willing to abandon another if they are not willing to submit to their will even if their will is to label one crazy and wish one to stop expressing one’s self. That people justify abandoning others, abandoning them emotionally, retrieving their friendship, banning them for ever, if they cannot get them to completely submit to their will. We must first meet our own will so that we do not bind our love to the submission of others or have to submit our selves to be loved. Love without submission: that is the foundation of humanity without the hierarchy of power. Love for life’s sake, not for anyone’s sake but for all’s sake. Life to each and everyone, under the principle of equality as human beings. Love, like Pelossi said of healthcare, is not a privilege for a few but a right for all. Understanding democracy is understanding the power of consciousness, when our lives become objectively under the law and the law is not corrupted by the benefits of a few.
This is what people in cults lose more powerfully each day. When they give up social participation to idolatry for the guru and channel their emotional life towards only one individual who sucks it whole, they stop the dialogue between themselves and humanity, they severe themselves from their own self, they continue to live as automatons who finally self-destroy. They are no better than those in a marriage who commit suicide because they’ve been abandoned by the other. The emotional center’s illness is what this could be called in which love for another human being is so sublimized that it becomes unidirectional and other human beings become meaningless. The level of “identification” with the other is so powerful that love has turned against life and the act of killing themselves doesn’t come from the I inside of them which has been weakened but from the fact that they have no “life”, they have totally disconnected themselves from life and its “meaning”, its “raison d’etre” has escaped not their mind that is reprogrammed by the cult but their “self”. Suicide in cults will help us understand the reality of the I, the different spheres of the I and the mind. Cults will in fact help us understand the human being in studying their atrocities.
In idolatry, we are basically talking about Platonic Love carried out to criminal extremes. It is worth exploring this deeper. Platonic love as I’ve experienced it began to develop around the age of eleven in the boarding school. It seems there could be a “right age” for the development of such love, when the child growing into a teenager deeply admires other adults that they will in turn follow as models. But when that process is thwarted, the emotional center will continue to return to the pattern and develop pathological forms of love. TOO MUCH LOVE for only one individual is not rare in our culture. Romeo and Juliet commit suicide because of the impossibility of their love within the social status quo, cult members commit suicide because the society they invented, sucked away their lives: Escaping from “life” is literally what they are doing and life escapes from them in the process. Excessive identification is the pathology cult members are suffering in idolatry. Most cult members in our times are coming from our times: people who belonged to broken families and landed into a cult in the attempt not only to rebuild a family nucleus but a social nucleus. The families were broken even if the parents were still there because the “practice” of being a family escaped them: sexuality and love had separated. Sexuality was not to be enjoyed with the wife but with the whore and the mother remained the submitted caretaker of the children who the husband paid for in his support. Love and sexuality have been divorced for generations. A gay guru raping men and arguing that it is moral for a conscious being is perfectly coherent in a world in which the separation of love and sexuality has crystallized and been accepted as a normality. The guru’s sexuality is totally independent of his love and therefore can rape one man after another while they are young enough without there being any emotional, economical or social binding. “Discardable” pieces of meat that he can bite on at will and throw the bones out when they get too old for his taste.
The member’s pathologic process of developing blind idolatry develops inversely proportionately to the sacrifice of their connectedness with life and as the process takes places their sense of their own self is weakened so vastly that when they commit suicide there is hardly a living trace of who they actually were. In cults like the Fellowship of Friends, aka, Pathway to Presence, members have even given up their original names and they die without even remembering the name of the person they are killing with the suicide. Suicide will not be understood until we acknowledge the different personalities that develop within the individual growing up in such broken inhuman societies.
Cult members argue that they have the right to choose their religious practice and society is willing to protect them as such but cults are not centers where mature human beings are practicing a religion, on the contrary, they are anti-religious institutions to which people are escaping trying to develop what they were unable to achieve in their families and society. Too immature to achieve it, instead of developing conscious religions for the well being of humanity, they return to behavioral patterns proper of childhood in which the father figure responds for everything and everyone. The cult member completely surrenders to the guru’s father figure and sacrifices his own will and ability to make decisions on his life, that of his family, community, society and mankind. The breach between each sphere affects him in definite ways. When the cult member gives up his family a whole sphere of his integrity is pulverized, when they give up their friends and community, a different sphere is affected, when their connection to society and the human being is broken, another aspect of their self is de-structured. When you look at a cult member, he may look like any other man, but you are in fact seeing just pieces of a man that are still being held by what used to be his body.
Cults are the rat holes people are escaping to trying to find a home where to grow up after having given up on society. It is not “religion” what is being practiced in cults for the purpose of religion is the conscious unity of mankind above its illusory differences of class, race and nation: the emotional binding between each human being, the realization of love on Earth for the well being of each and every individual. This “willingness” to follow equally immature gurus cannot be understood as conscious will, in people that are too immature to have developed a will. They may look like adults but we talking about people who have not developed properly, whose essences have been so affected that they are still trying to grow up. In that impulse, they easily fall in the hands of the omnipotent father figure who they believe not only loves them but redeems them, but all they are doing is trying to find a home to grow up. They are so irresponsible, so incapable of taking care of others or their selves, so immature, that they easily fall in the hands of the guru who will take care of all the decisions in their lives. When we understand that these were our parents and when our children understand that these were US, we will probably be able to open the road towards a more compassionate world.
The priest-king was a legitimate role in ancient civilizations but the authority of being has been shifted from the priest-king to every individual in democracy. Mankind evolves, evolution is a reality, progress exists, even though so many succumb in the process. The inner life of the human being is something we cannot understand as long as we continue to believe that we are independent of each other. The human being lives in every human being and continues to live while each individual dies. We are the cells of our self. We are each meant to protect each other and our own self for the well being of mankind. Selfish, loveless individuals who cannot perceive humanity within themselves and act humanly towards others are always falling into crime against their own self or other people, through carelessness even more than intentional will to harm at the beginning and then justified by the cult they build their lives around, which is no other than the expression of their disconnectedness to life. Like cancers, instead of developing life and culture, they develop infra-cultures and inhumanity.
In the destruction of the family, the archetype has been so damaged that we have been having generations of people without human connectedness. All the decadence we are seeing today is aspects of that damage. The essence of man is suffering.
The freedom from equally authoritarian norms within the family were necessary to detach from, for the illness of authoritarianism had invaded the family but love amongst families and human beings needs to be recovered in society. When exactly did the authoritarianism within the family develop so maliciously is worth exploring. In what period was sexuality detached from love and made an evil? And mainly IN those societies in which sexuality was detached, did such pervasive forms of authoritarianism develop in the family?
No kid’s attitude is basically the attitude of ex-members like oldfof in the fofblog and greater fellowship who think that as long as those people who are still their friends and relatives continue to have an income, it doesn’t matter how many still innocent people who keep joining are harmed. The unconsciousness of the gesture is obvious. Consciousness after all, is consciousness of the whole and the development of such consciousness is the aim of every religion. People that use religion to separate human beings from each other have nothing religious about them, they are simply thirsty for power.
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