12. ton - March 31, 2011 [Edit]
i’ll attempt to point out where you are actually doing what you so frequently accuse me of doing (that’s projection). i’ll go through your post (again) and jot down where you attack me…. and you are fooling yourself if you think you are doing otherwise. i hope that at some point the light goes on and you can see your projections and then work on withdrawing them (i do think we are making progress in this regard… it has been a difficult road and i admit that it’s a little ‘unorthodox’ to do so much ‘mirroring’ with you but i sense some movement in the right direction).
e: “your sarcasm is much more under control.”
re: sarcasm… you are an expert…. why do you feel you need to control my expressions of sarcasm ? do you see it in yourself? some sarcasm can be humorous, do you recognize that or you are you too self-important and completely humorless?
“….I am being negative for stating the facts…”
you confuse your opinions with facts… two different things entirely… and yes you are being negative.
“but that it is negative to practice them as consistently as you do…”
look in the mirror elena.
“…you don’t know how to dialogue or stand up for your understanding with clear reasoning, your structures are not transparent.”
i have been very clear with you elena, in fact too clear and ‘penetrating’ for your liking… it is in fact you who attempts to obfuscate what i suggest with piles of words and ‘structures.’
“You dismiss the points attacking the person which is a well known technique of taking attention away from the issues…”
this is another attack on me elena… you would like to DICTATE THE ISSUES here but in fact i determine what is of interest TO ME and when i don’t conform to your expectations or your ‘dictates’ it aggravates you to no end… do you know what I THINK would be a really interesting issue to get to exlpore elena, i would like to hear a considered in-depth self-analysis of your own control issues… let’s get to the bottom of things elena… for the sake of ‘transparency.’
another personal attack:
“…because you yourself don’t know the lesson.”
(no elena, i don’t claim to know everything, please teach me…)
“…you reduce the subject to our subjectivities and in so doing reveal your understanding.”
you again attack and imagine this to be an insult because the “subjective” in your estimation is somehow ‘inferior’ to the “objective.” this whole notion of the values and ideas contained in the “subjective” vs “objective” should be examined — and especially in the light of your favorite refrain “we are one.”
“I’ve given you a page because you’ve proved that your only aim here is to mark my misgivings, not address the subjects.”
you’ve marginalized me from the beginning elena, that’s the nature of a superiority complex, it needs to have an imagined ‘inferior’ around in order to feel superior to…
“There is no need for you to be in the pages with subjects because you don’t read them, address them or wish to understand them.”
there you go again elena, justifying your need to marginalize me… and in the process putting yourself above me by saying that i don’t understand, that you are dealing with ‘issues’ that are beyond my intellectual capabilities… that’s just laughable elena, you really do suppose that you are superior to me… think about it elena, what is this need to feel superior really about? do you know? do you even care? oh ya, i do read ‘the pages’ and i address what i choose to…
” I hear all your criticism, I thank you for it. It is not that I feel in any way superior to you or anyone else for that matter, it is that the argument is based on solid enough ground and you are unable to deconstruct it or actually deal with it, not because you are inferior, We are One Ton, but because you are not willing to make the intellectual effort.”
now this is interesting… here you say that you ‘hear all’ my ‘criticism’ and you thank me… i think you are partly sincere in this… but only insofar as that my ‘criticisms’ give you some of the attention you are starving for… that is what you are grateful for… you actually put very little if any credence in what i say… especially if it flies in the face of your own biases, beliefs and ideas about your self…. and as it turns out most of what i say here does just that. but then you go on to deny the obvious fact that you IN FACT DO imagine yourself to be superior… re-read the few examples i’ve ‘deconstructed’ for you just in this post… you say that i am not able to ‘deal with it’ (i’m not sure what ‘it’ refers to in this attack) but this obviously implies my ‘inferiority’ again and with it, your superiority, yet you dissemble in the very next breath and cover it up with your favorite mantra (“we are one”) and end by implying my lack of ‘intellectual effort’ thus making me your imagined inferior… again. what a load of bombastic nonsense this is elena… you can fool yourself but you don’t fool me for even a nanosecond.
“You are biased before you’ve even begun and you’ve been angry with me long before you can remember.”
another personal attack… and another:
“…you cannot take anything positive.”
and yet another attempt to rationalize your continual diminishing of me, the other:
“…you don’t have the love that is needed for a dialogue.”
elena, where is the love in you when you make a hateful statement like this?
and then there is this line which says so much about you and your myopia:
“You don’t realize the difference between greatness and grandiosity and conform the human being to anything less than a Monarch.”
re: ‘criticism:’ no one really likes criticism because it shrinks the ego a bit but some of ‘us’ need to have the ego shrunk a bit… as a rule, egotists in particular do not take criticism well and sometimes display “narcissistic rage” in the face of criticism or perceived ‘insult.’ it’s normal for an infant to have an inflated sense of egotism – ‘”Her Majesty the Baby”…”Her Majesty the Ego” — Her Majesty the ‘Monarch’ — this should be very familiar to you…. but when development is optimal there is a gradual reconciliation to a more realistic view of one’s place in the world – as ‘swollen heads’ get smaller…. if the swollen head fails to get smaller then ‘a shrink’ is required… otherwise, failure to adjust may lead to defensive egotism which comes from “compensation or defense against a negative or fragile self-concept.” egotism means not giving equal importance to the wider perspective – the one where your ego is still there, but it’s taking its proper limited place among other egos… this is something you appear to have a hard time with… you have the need to feel you are on top, to have the ultimate and final word, to control… you tend to have an an unrealistic sense of superiority, you view yourself as better than others, which leads to the narcissistic view that others are inferior and therefore they are “justifiably” treated with disdain… just look at the way you’ve treated me elena… this behavior comes at least partly from years of conditioning (brainwashing) by your place in the cult hierarchy…. it’s not ok to treat others with such arrogance and disdain elena, and when someone gives you the same treatment back as i do here, you are rightly outraged… this tells me that somewhere in the recesses of your soul you still realize that it’s not ok to treat others with this type of arrogant disdain, as if another is inferior to you the ‘monarch’ — you can recognize this behavior when it is directed toward you but you fail to see it in yourself… it’s time to recognize when you are doing it yourself elena, otherwise it just doesn’t stop. you see your own grandiosity, your conditioned reality filters as “greatness” or “beauty” or “factual.” you carry with you a sense of entitlement, of ‘uniqueness,’ you live in the belief that you are ‘royalty’ and that you exist on a plane far above the muddled masses whom you presume to speak for and in so doing the implication is that you have nothing in common with those for whom you pretend to speak. you can only be understood by a few very special people…. this is pure cult conditioning. it appears that you regard yourself as unique or special when compared to other people, and as generally superior to others… from my vantage point you tend to come off in a boastful, pretentious way. it appears that certain self-beliefs lead to an attitude that anything unpleasant to your self-image you simply ignore and fail to acknowledge. you look down your nose with contempt at the child-like ways of others, like me for example whom you’ve sequestered here in a box at the ‘child’s table’ since you imagine me as your ‘intellectual inferior’ and you rationalize this behavior toward me since i don’t ‘understand’ what you are writing on ‘the pages.’ you can get rid of your infantile self by pushing her somewhere outside of yourself, by treating me as an inferior — that’s projection elena. the downside to putting yourself into this imaginary elevated state is that a grandiose self is extremely vulnerable, and when something doesn’t go your way, you make a great fuss, because you are a queen, a ‘monarch’ who has been frustrated. egotism is an exaggerated estimate of intellect, ability, importance, appearance, wit, personal characteristics, etc, – it is the drive to maintain and enhance a favorable self-image…. egotism is a kind of socialized narcissism, a grandiose sense of self-importance, arrogant, boastful, conceited and self-promoting at the expense of others – refusing to recognise others but ironically toward this end, others are used as inferiors in order to boost and inflate an imagined superior self-image…. in general you have almost never been able to treat me as an equal, or to acknowledge anything i say… i am continually marginalized and treated as something less than you, your overweening sense of self-importance is bolstered by this behavior toward me, the other.
“In order to kill the demon of egotism (Madāsura) who had attacked him, Gaṇeśa Vighnarāja throws his lotus at him. Unable to bear the fragrance of the divine flower, the demon surrenders to Gaṇeśa.”
i am happy to hear that you feel ‘very good these days’… “recovery” is a process which takes time but using that word may be a bit of a misnomer; we never really “recover” what we were in the sense that we are forever changed by experience and cannot go back to being what was. “uncovering” and “discovery” may be terms that are more apropos to the process than “recovery” — uncovering what lead up to what we have become now and and discovering where to go from here… i’m sure you do feel better in relative freedom after the oppressions of cult life.
http://www.stephenprothero.com/books/
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