So what are we looking for friends?
88 views from a few people today.
It seems like a lot for just one writer.
What is it that we are after?
For me, just the fact that there are humans out there and that communicating is a real possibility is enough but for you, what is it about?
I am in fact an orphan with many families, a woman of my time and age and clear about the fact that communication between people is no easy matter. After nineteen years of cult life including the blog and having given up all connections after joining, re-establishing threads with other people at the age of fifty doesn’t come easy and I was an outcast from the day I became an orphan at eight. Just the fact that other children had mothers made us different. I had a silence that they didn’t know about and that I could not stop hearing. It wasn't her death what I couldn't take, everybody dies, it was that she didn't want to live what I couldn't digest; that she'd committed suicide leaving us at eight, ten and twelve years old. It was an answer to life that has taken forty years to question!
What people seem to share is our conditioned affinities from having had similar upbringing or experiences. Being together creates opportunities for communicating but communicating for the simple joy of hearing another human being speak, is not a given.
I am notfeeling sorry for myself speaking about being an orphan. Things that hurt when I was a child don’t hurt today. Overtime I’ve learnt to take my hand with acceptance and even gratitude. God knows I’ve been as lucky as unlucky and what I had plenty of in some areas I equally lacked in others, like most other people. I certainly don’t feel that my capacity for happiness or even tranquillity is even close to that of so many others. I know some truly amazing human beings but then I could hardly consider what human being is not amazing. We are just different and exquisitely rich in our differences.
When I began verifying the theory of types or different types of people preconditioned by the influences of their particular stars. It was a difficult area for me who hadn’t ever read novels and hearing cult members speak about types like people gossiped about others, wasn’t attractive and yet, the more I looked at others without preconditioned judgement, I realized that there were people with different talents and structures and appreciating them as they were, became increasingly enlightening. The Work, that is, taking a practical look at one’s self and the world around one from outside one’s external layer or preconditioned behaviour, is perhaps the greatest adventure any human being can experience. I personally did not go very far in a cult environment; instead of working, the stimulus to make any effort waned as time passed and just being able to survive the cult took the most of my energy. But the few initial instances in which I was able to take a peep at what the world looked like beyond what others called Clara, were wonderful enough to know that there’s more life than life! Or rather, that there is more life in life than one could ever dream or hope for, that the magic wand is one’s own willingness to cross the fine line between the physical and the spiritual world with wide open eyes and move from one to the other without pretending either one of them to be greater than the other. The physical world, or this world in which I am writing and you are reading is the stage in which all spirituality manifests itself: our ability to communicate or NOT, simply reveals the state of development of our shared spirits.
I would not be surprised if the word love, “lof” is just a variation of the word “Life” lof-life, because in an irregular state what I seemed to understand by love didn’t exist but there was a “life” that felt more connected than any love I had ever known: the connectedness of the world in irregular states is perhaps their most amazing characteristic: like the calm completion after an orgasm without having had sex.
How has it been for you whether you were or weren’t working with a system? One of the most amazing aspects of cult life was that members never shared their experience of other worlds we experienced and on the contrary annihilated our inner life to support the cult behaviour. What we stopped acknowledging about our inner life we made up disguising our selves for the "conscious show". Everyone lives in all the worlds or realms, even people who have never attempted to reach them; in fact, some people seem to live much more closely connected to those worlds without the slightest effort, than those of us who have been seriously damaged by the powerful nosedive into physical reality of our times.
Thank you for coming and looking into this window, hopefully you can allow me to look through yours. I will try to look through the pane without dampening the glass! May the rest of your day be accompanied by light.