This text by Girard is wonderfully elucidating of the situation but it is not a rarity. Every text by Girard contains the same corruption of reality to fit the cult.
I hope he’s Daily Cardiac because Daily Cardiac has been “touched”. He sincerely came here and he’s been touched in that sincerity. He’s far more free now from the cult mentality than before. I hope he’s Girard. What makes me doubt it, is that Girard wouldn’t expose himself that badly unless he was desperate.
Panoritsa’s views that Girard is a nobody in the Fellowship cult are true and false. People around Robert had stopped respecting him a long time ago. All those who knew that he was addicted to pornography had distanced themselves from him but never bothered to tell the rest of us the truth of the situation. They continued to rely on his prestige and use him to keep the cult running because hundreds of us would have left had we known the truth in different circumstances. They continued to USE him like they used everything that helped submit others. When I finally understood Girard’s predicament I was still convinced that Robert was conscious and thought that he was tolerant with Girard’s condition because it was right to work with it. That is the condition of millions of men today. For me, we had to work with what we were given and was convinced that if our sexuality was healthy he would move away from no matter what practice. If I failed, I failed willingly. Girard is a very sick man but not much more sick than each and every other member in the Fellowship cult. All of them in the inner circle have kept each other running to continue ripping innocent people off. There is not going to be a lynching of Girard Haven alone here no matter how eager people are to find one scapegoat.No one seriously challenged Girard’s statements inside and when I challenged them you simply alienated me further. The sickness is in all of us. We each made it happen and allowed it to happen because not one of us was enough of a human being to understand the inhumanity that was going on, no one was or is present enough to take reality for what it is. The Ames Gilberts of the Fellowship are hundreds, the Brucelevys, the Venas, the old fofs, the Fellowship is crammed with these people pretending to be better than others but they are as sick outside as those inside. They too are willing to ban people who don’t buy in their little ego business and submit to their sacredcowness and support with equal blindness their golden calfs: their beliefs in sexuality, nationality or rationality. Bruce is as willing to humiliate any woman in the fofblog as Robert in the fofcult and all the adepts of the blog just keep submissively quiet, like when they were inside! Silence is its own complicity. The difference in the degree is no difference in the intention. Nor Old Fof or Ames or Vena or anyone who remained silent when they voiced what all of you carry inside. You are no less sick outside than you were inside. You are cult people, you have no love, your sickness spreads out no matter where you participate. You hide yourselves just like Robert and Girard hide themselves inside. You give only the light side of your lives convinced that that will keep others from seeing how much darkness there is in it. But you’re not any less free of the cult sickness than those inside. And you Steve, how did you manage to get involved in the sacredcow business? How did you become so bias? Why didn’t you scream on time if you thought it was too much? But when did you stop four or more when they were just as rough? Too gay perhaps as you yourself said? The same old cause every time?
Girard:
…I suddenly found myself making a distinction between ‘verifying’ and ‘testing’…
In the way I mean it, ‘testing’ is essentially a negative process. It refers to the attempt to disprove something or to make it fail, as when an automobile door is tested by a machine which opens and closes it thousands of times, or when a child tests his parents by deliberately going where he is not supposed to go. In the Fellowship, testing usually starts from negative attitudes towards school disciplines, attitudes such as “Why should I have to do this?” These attitudes lead to efforts to discover what is wrong with a request, what is beneficial about its opposites, and what one can get away with, although all this often occurs in the guise of thinking for oneself, finding one’s own expression for the work, etc. In any case, it is easy to see that testing embodies the attitudes of opposite thinking.
Verification, on the other hand, is a positive process. It begins by adopting the attitude that the thing to be verified is correct, and then uses observation of the results of acting according to that attitude to determine the validity of the original assumption.
As an example, consider a child who is told that fire is hot. He tests this by putting something into the fire; he verifies it by trusting his parents and by observing. Although this may seem a trivial example, there are people all around us (as well as many ‘I’s within us) who insist on sticking their hands into fires, particularly when the emotional center is involved. We even refer to such people as being ‘burned’ in, for example, a bad relationship.
The dangers of testing are compounded by the fact that our emotional centers are so underdeveloped that we are often unable even to realize when we are being burned. This is especially true in relation to the School. We have only a very limited understanding of what actually serves our evolution, and that understanding is restricted to a very small part of our machines, that part of the king of hearts which has been trained by the School itself. The rest of the machine does not understand awakening and so easily adopts a negative, testing attitude which, if not recognized for what it is, can lead one out of the School.
This, then is why it is so important to learn to verify rather than to test, to develop and ability to trust the wisdom of Higher Forces and to affirm and strengthen that trust by acting on it, as the Teacher does. Essentially, the attitude that one must test in order to verify betrays a lack of understanding of our relation to Higher Forces. In our sleep, we act as if we were their equals, and set ourselves up to test and judge their requests. When we get away with it, as mechanically as we sometimes will, this illusion is reinforced. Consequently, no matter what one may finally learn from it, testing always feeds false personality.
Verification, on the other hand, can be seen as the process of intentionally deciding to adopt attitudes which presumably come from higher beings, and then confirming those attitudes, and hence their origin, by action and observation. It is an ongoing process, the method by which knowledge is brought into being to create understanding.
Moreover, because verification involves setting aside one’s own ideas to adopt the ideas or attitudes one is verifying, it runs counter to the illusion of self-importance, and so is relatively free of false personality. Instead, it is a manifestation of true personality, embodying the understanding that one cannot test Influence C, set conditions for them, or make demands of them. One cannot even ‘prove’ their existence: one must accept them, and in doing so, verify their presence.
…I suddenly found myself making a distinction between ‘verifying’ and ‘testing’…
In the way I mean it, ‘testing’ is essentially a negative process. It refers to the attempt to disprove something or to make it fail, as when an automobile door is tested by a machine which opens and closes it thousands of times, or when a child tests his parents by deliberately going where he is not supposed to go. In the Fellowship, testing usually starts from negative attitudes towards school disciplines, attitudes such as “Why should I have to do this?” These attitudes lead to efforts to discover what is wrong with a request, what is beneficial about its opposites, and what one can get away with, although all this often occurs in the guise of thinking for oneself, finding one’s own expression for the work, etc. In any case, it is easy to see that testing embodies the attitudes of opposite thinking.
Verification, on the other hand, is a positive process. It begins by adopting the attitude that the thing to be verified is correct, and then uses observation of the results of acting according to that attitude to determine the validity of the original assumption.
As an example, consider a child who is told that fire is hot. He tests this by putting something into the fire; he verifies it by trusting his parents and by observing. Although this may seem a trivial example, there are people all around us (as well as many ‘I’s within us) who insist on sticking their hands into fires, particularly when the emotional center is involved. We even refer to such people as being ‘burned’ in, for example, a bad relationship.
The dangers of testing are compounded by the fact that our emotional centers are so underdeveloped that we are often unable even to realize when we are being burned. This is especially true in relation to the School. We have only a very limited understanding of what actually serves our evolution, and that understanding is restricted to a very small part of our machines, that part of the king of hearts which has been trained by the School itself. The rest of the machine does not understand awakening and so easily adopts a negative, testing attitude which, if not recognized for what it is, can lead one out of the School.
This, then is why it is so important to learn to verify rather than to test, to develop and ability to trust the wisdom of Higher Forces and to affirm and strengthen that trust by acting on it, as the Teacher does. Essentially, the attitude that one must test in order to verify betrays a lack of understanding of our relation to Higher Forces. In our sleep, we act as if we were their equals, and set ourselves up to test and judge their requests. When we get away with it, as mechanically as we sometimes will, this illusion is reinforced. Consequently, no matter what one may finally learn from it, testing always feeds false personality.
Verification, on the other hand, can be seen as the process of intentionally deciding to adopt attitudes which presumably come from higher beings, and then confirming those attitudes, and hence their origin, by action and observation. It is an ongoing process, the method by which knowledge is brought into being to create understanding.
Moreover, because verification involves setting aside one’s own ideas to adopt the ideas or attitudes one is verifying, it runs counter to the illusion of self-importance, and so is relatively free of false personality. Instead, it is a manifestation of true personality, embodying the understanding that one cannot test Influence C, set conditions for them, or make demands of them. One cannot even ‘prove’ their existence: one must accept them, and in doing so, verify their presence.
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