Ton-Elena Finito

145 Ton May 21


you’ve talked about your anger around being “banned” — that’s really beside the point, your anger over being “banned” is in fact only a symptom of a much deeper anger, resentment, frustration and rage within you… that’s what my question to you refers to… what is the source of this hostility you feel ? what is it about elena…? it’s not about me elena, it’s not about a silly blog… these are simply “triggers” that set off your hostility. how long have you carried this anger and hostility ? can you remember back to a time when it did not control you ? was there some precipitating event in your life that went unresolved causing you to feel the frustration and anger ? when did your hostile feelings first gain control over you ? what is your anger about elena ? i know you have abandonment issues… if you look deeply enough you might find that your anger and resentment come from something else to serve an uncounscious purpose… such might be the case in the fear of abandonment…. you mention sadness… maybe the anger is there to protect you from truly feeling your sadness… this is just a “grope in the dark” on my part… obviously it’s up to you to come up with your own understanding of your own psyche… of course if you don’t develop an understanding of the roots of your anger, it will continue to control you. have you examined the roots of your hostility elena ? can you bear to look beneath the surface… or are you satisfied living with symptoms ?



146 Elena

This is amazingly interesting Ton but ever so boring. What's interesting is that you and I seem to be locked on each other's difficulties without seeing our own and what's so boring is that I don't feel your analysis fits the shoe.  


As I've said too many times now if you study my participation in the fofblog recently and our interchanges here I am not as vulnerable as I was after I left the Fellowship and until very recently holding on to the blogs for people as reference, hurting others and being hurt by others and still preffering that to the numbness of the fellowship cult but that is not the case now and I find you so dishonest, but the pity is I don't care anymore. That's what you like? good for you, go practice it with someone else because you are probably the most uninteresting person I've ever met.  


There are a million things here more interesting to talk about than your problems or mine and all you can dig on, post after post is trying to convince me that I have problems. There must be an illness called being stuck in the sphere of personality. Keep convincing yourself Ton but if you've nothing better to say could find some other hobby? You behave like someone who's going or just went through divorce. You don't really seem to have anything good to do with yourself beside finding faults in Elena and that would be a lot more interesting for the fofblog than here, why don't you practice it there, then you can justify yourselves even better and at least you'll be somewhere where you fit?  


While I'm very sorry if you're going through difficulties, I don't think your trying to solve them this way is going to work for you and definitely I'm too old for the game you're playing. I think I've had enough of you for the time being. If you can't really come up with anything more interesting than this endless labyrinth in which you seem so comfortable, I think I'll stop answering your posts. Hope things get better for you. Good luck Ton. Elena