oh, so i’m dismissed again, eh elena ?
think about all the mean-spirited and hostile things you’ve written here over the last few days, weeks and months that were intended to ‘harm’ me or others, you’re attempting to inflict on another the frustration, anger and pain you’re feeling… and when i do not react to your barbs as you’d expected, you grow bored with the game and dismiss me… again. this is a pattern with you, do you know how arrogant and patronizing your dismissive attitude is ?
what you don’t realize is that this is an aspect of your abandonment issue rearing it’s ugly head, you fear rejection, you fear abandonment and this creates the compulsion in you to reject and dismiss another ‘preemptively’ so to speak, that is, before you are rejected yourself. let’s see, you spent how many years in a cult ? and then you left the cult, or maybe the cult left you ? you bring up divorce again and in the past you’ve mentioned your several divorces, that’s also connected to abandonment issues… by the way, did you say what age were you when your mother died ?
“Pause and take a look at yourself, a compassionate look. See yourself struggling with fear of abandonment. See how it affects you and your life – your sense of self, your ability to feel whole. Your ability to have happy, inter-dependent relationships. Your ability to attract fully available people. Healing your abandonment issues is key to enjoying life, in order to heal your abandonment issues:
Identify and heal the earlier experiences that underlie your issues (often child abandonment).
Identify your beliefs, feelings, and unmet needs that formed in connection with those earlier experiences.
Build the new, life-enhancing, coherent beliefs, feelings, and needs that will bring you inner power and deep, lasting growth.
Create a “shift” in your energy field from the old to the new. This requires more than the usual “talking/thinking?understanding/problem solving” of the left brain.
Become empowered by WHO YOU ARE. Connect with your genuine power and potential. Know that change is possible. Shift what you resonate with. I do this all day, every day. It is so very do-able~! “Simple but not easy” as the saying goes, unless you know how, of course.”
i’m glad you’re feeling less vulnerable elena, so maybe you can hear this and not react so defensively and lash out aggressively… if you feel that you can do this work in solitude on your own, then more power to you… i’ve only suggested that it’s easier and faster to work with others in undertaking the deep work required for a serious transformational shift… look, i know you don’t trust me, relearning to trust is a huge issue after the cult experience, i know, because i’ve been there too…. and i know you have problems with the opposite gender — after numerous divorces you are obviously not very trusting of men… but if you want to ‘talk’ (write) and unravel some of your core issues here on your blog i can extend the offer to at least ‘listen’ to what you write.
148 Elena
Yes Ton, I'm afraid such truths are always a little offensive for the ego and we should be able to look at them for what they are. I kindly ask you to allow me to retire from this conversation because I sincerely find it boring and dishonest.
This new tone of kindness was what I needed three, two, one year ago and you're Oh so late by now Ton and you're right, I don't care anymore. I find you dishonest and out of place.
All those things you mention: my mother, my husbands, the cult are Oh so true, they hurt for so long but I've found my way out of that suffering and how I've been doing that is all here in these blogs if you bothered to read what matters but you're fixed in the idea of Elena the victim. You've been trying to convince me for so long that you managed to convince yourself and are crystallizing in it. If you like that go ahead. At this point you could be getting off on a potato and it wouldn't matter to me. Besides the human compassion I might feel for anyone so wrapped up in his own labyrinth, I fully understand that you're free to chose and if I can neither help you nor anyone else, I can at least help my self.
Goodbye Ton.
*
No comments:
Post a Comment