Elena - With all due respect and consideration

Stand very corrected Ton.

There is nothing of that. Everyone is struggling through difficult times, everyone makes mistakes, men, women, young, mature, old people. The point is not destroying each other because of the many mistakes we’ve made but acknowledging them so that we are clear about what shouldn’t be done again. It’s the endless repetition of the same mistakes what is worth looking at carefully because that reveals “crystallized” tendencies that run into the pathological like your repeating things about me that have been checked and proved wrong over and over again without your willingness to acknowledge anything other than your own position.

Since I have the feeling that this blogging is becoming pathological for you, if you continue in the same vein I will stop reading your posts and move away from this venue. I don’t “ban” you because sick as you seem, I always have hope that something better can come but I’m not too hopeful anymore.

It is not that I’m interested in agreeing with each other but I’ve heard enough of your personal criticism of my self with your cheap psychologizing. Since I am convinced that THAT is neither healthy for you OR me, I am not willing to take it anymore. You’ve much exhausted the subject of my personal shortcomings, your points of view are very clear but this blog is about much more than that whether you are interested in other things or not.

While I’ve been the first to stand by the idea that personal exploration should be possible in the public sphere, you’ve been wonderfully helpful in pointing to the deficiencies of such an approach because it is something that must necessarily be done with sincere love and interest between the people involved and you have nothing of that. You have obviously been very affected by my attacks on the Fellowship cult and the culture behind cults: men and women who abuse others criminally and although you do not mention it, it is clear to me that you’re going through a very rough time in your personal life. You are as lonely and aggressive as I was after leaving the fellowship cult and while I would love to be able to help you, I realize I cannot, you should find someone who you can actually be with. That in itself is healing.

While I am happy to take responsibility for what I’ve said in practically every area, while I am willing to acknowledge that before I was banned the first time I myself yelled and screamed too loud at too many people, that has not been the case for a long time for me to have to put up with your continuous personal attacks.

I respect your opinions and am willing to take them even though I do not agree with any one of them. I have tried to dialogue with you long enough without success and now wish to turn my energy and attention to other matters.

May every scent of love and life cross your path and bring happiness and well being to you, your family and your community.

With all due respect and consideration,
Elena